LIFE WHICH DECIDES

 ADOPTION AND DONATION;

 It was the year 2018,

 Introducing myself, Anupama in Orissa, 

I didn't give up on my dreams and my talent. They were my best friends. I continued my dance classes and living my life back in the same small apartment with some cash left in my hand and salary that I was getting paid for.

 Sitting with my diary in hand I am taken aback reading the goals and the promises that I made to myself. 

Was it all my decisions fault, which lead me to take another path that has changed my life totally.

I was standing in line with other girls with same kind of feeling probably thinking to get adopted today. Line extended, months passed,years passed. 

I was fed up standing in the line, waiting and hoping that 

"today is the day that is going to happen". 

 It was because very few couples came to adopt the girls and they were very choosy in doing it.

My fellow girls got their turn, couple of them got adopted. 

Most unluckiest part was when Radhika my best friend  got adopted too. We spent more than 8 years together sharing our bed, clothes, accessories, and everything which couple or generous people who couldn't adopt but donated stuff at times. 

 Our guardian, Mr. Acharya used to say that we both were brought together into this orphan in the age between 1-2 years and used to give us hope that we would be also adopted on the same day. 

And today she was leaving too. I was left disappointed. 
While leaving she hugged me and said ;
"Anu, you don't have to share things anymore, you can have everything for yourself and when the day comes I promise I will be there to share mine".  She packed her bags and left the place. 

I didn't dare to go and see who was adopting her but I heard fellow girls saying some Koccher's family has come to adopt her.

 Uh! but I was left always behind. I don't know what we lacked and what they had. I badly felt was I so unlucky that all these years I had to just stand in line.

I then reluctantly decided and said to myself "no more standing in these lines and waiting for somebody to come and adopt me. I will come back when I become something to this same place, adopt girls and give them everything they want". As a 10 years old girl I decided and wrote it in my diary which became my best friend after Radhika left.

Living on donated clothes, books, money, food I still felt like standing in the same line and waiting for these material things. Though I gave up and decided not to get adopted I had this feeling but I never gave up on the goal which was to adopt a girl child. 

 

 Dancing to the rhythm of my life, I always wished to become a dancer and choreograph songs which I learnt during the time in orphanage. Acharya sir always appreciated my dance skills. During my final exams of graduation he himself got a job offer for me in a dance school to teach and learn dance as well. I was so overwhelmed. I was eagerly waiting to come out of orphanage and begin my new life.

I made few friends after coming out of orphanage. Friends who pushed me to do more but the sad part was they always introduced me to others as a orphan who is teaching dance to children. 

Among them I admired Shiv very much. He was one of my colleague in the dance institute. He never treated me like an orphan. He also helped me through my financial crisis I was in when I came out of the orphan. He was very close to me and he had known me for two years now. I craved for his attention during the class. We used to meet only during the class hours. But I never asked about his personal life and what else he was doing to make his living. I shared all my experiences, goals, dreams I had with him.

But today was different day, after dance class I went to my small apartment which I was living in by paying the rent through the salary that I got from the dance class, I started writing in my diary,

To the person who I had become, to just learn and teach dance I questioned myself ;Is this all what I wanted to do in my life? Will I be introduced as an orphan all my life with no one by my side? Will all the girls who come out from orphan live in this same way or do something huge out of their life?

I woke up early, made my self breakfast, brought my medical documents,bank accounts and income papers in one file and was good to go. As I was going to take big step today I took blessings of god.

I cancelled my morning dance class today and informed Shiv that I have some work to do and I would be attending the evening hour. 

After having my lunch I left to the same orphanage where I came from "The home of god's children" so that this time I could adopt a girl and give her everything. I went in and spoke with the then guardian Mr. Raghava about my thoughts. He asked about my living, my financial status, my marital status.He said  I didn't reach up to the level that I can adopt and give life to another girl. 

I was left questioned. I didn't understand anything. In that mere questionable state I left the orphanage.

It was around 4:00 p.m and time to attend the class as my students would be waiting.

Dishearteningly I took classes today, everybody could make it out through my actions. After class finished, Shiv came up to me and asked me "what happened to you? Where were your expressions? You seem very dull today?" I replied "long story" He insisted me to tell him and so i told him everything.

After listening to the whole story he took me aside and said; " I know few people who can help you to make money.

I was astonished, I said I want a god job or some huge amount of money in my bank account to adopt the girl. 

My mind was pushing me to ask him to get married to me so that we as a couple could make a living and adopt a girl child. But my heart was not that brave she knew something else was in store for me.

He said; "you don't have to take this as a job but after 3 or 4 times you will surely become a millionaire".  I jumped in happiness I said "I am in, tell me whatever it is I will do it." 

He asked me again, "Are sure?" I replied; "Damn sure, to achieve my goals and to make my living luxurious I will do anything."

I asked him what my job role was. He whispered, "You have to sleep with few that's it and they will pay you huge amount which you haven't seen in your entire life."

I didn't know what and how to react. All my feelings for Shiv came crashing down. I know he was helping me to achieve greater things but I couldn't decide which path to choose. 

All I knew was, I wanted house, money, status, adopt a girl child and live happily ever after.

I asked him how much will I get paid? Shiv; "Hey, You don't have to think about anything I am there for you, and I will make you rich enough." 

I asked him "from when should I start?" Shiv ; "Brilliant! Now get dressed I'll take you out to introduce few people, they will have contacts to share." 

The trust which I had on him was more than anything. His words fed me, I blindly believed in him. 

I met around 4 men one after the other who were very interested in me. Everything was handled by Shiv, he negotiated with them. 

I didn't give any second thoughts because I had Shiv with me, I knew he would always be there and would never put in any tough situation.

After two days of our negotiations, Shiv came up to me and said today is the night and here is your advance. He handed me a grey envelope. I quickly rushed into bathroom and saw the amount. So many, 1000 rupee notes. About 10,000 rupees just in advance? I started jumping, giggling in happiness. 

When I came out Shiv came in front me, 

"Did you check?'' he asked, I said; Yeah, but how much will I get after the night ? Shiv; "More 20,000 check will be given to you and you can put it in your account".  I didn't wanted show him my joyous reactions and so I just asked him "when and where should I go?" He said, "I'll send you a text message and you can take a cab and go there". 

It was my first time, I didn't know how to take all this forward. My brave mind kept saying you can do this, just for one night you are going to earn 30,000. Isn't it amazing.? Through your dance classes you earn it after for 4 months. But my heart being weak kept throbbing all the way.

After that night I changed my name from Anupama to Jhansi. 

Years passed, I started making huge money. I bought a house, a car, with 1 lakh amount in my account and continuing my dance classes full time and during night time going to the clients which Shiv used text me about. 

I was at that point of time in life where I felt "it's enough now, I have to settle, get married and adopt my dream girl." 

Shiv stopped coming to dance classes. I barely could meet him anymore. He always ignored whenever I asked him to meet me outside. 

But after 4 years of knowing him and how much he had helped me, I decided to tell him my feelings and left my house early to surprise him and propose him for marriage. 

I remember he mentioned he was conducting driving classes nearby the institute. I reached there and called him, he didn't answer my calls. When I asked his colleagues about his whereabouts they mentioned he has gone to the driving park which was 3 km away from here.    

When I reached there I saw him sitting on the bench with a girl beside him. I wanted to surprise him, so i hid myself behind the tracks and walked up to him. I didn't make a single noise and reached his bench which was turned the other way. 

I heard those same lines; 

"Brilliant! Now get dressed I'll take you out to introduce few people, they will have contacts to share." 

I was startled, I came to surprise him, but I was surprised. I quickly ran away from that place without anyone noticing me. 

I went inside my room and started crying and crying. My tears didn't stop. I believed  a person who made girls enter this business after knowing their weaknesses. I trusted a pimp, a broker, a bad man. I thought he was helping me but he was making money by selling girls into this business.

I stopped taking his calls, I stopped attending his clients. I kept receiving texts, threaten calls, saying he would ruin my life if I didn't attend the client. 

I decided it was time to make a move and so I sold my apartment, car, took cash, rushed to the dance institute begged for my documents, my experience letter and left the city. 

I ran city to city hiding my identity. I changed my sim number. I missed calling myself Anu. I missed everything.

After 5 months of running, sitting in the railway station of Mumbai, my heart answered me to go to Orissa and settle there. I knew I should have listened to my heart long back but the life in me wasn't over. I rushed into the train leaving everything behind to start a new life.

 Beginning a new life in Orissa in the year 2018 was bit difficult for me but my hopes and dreams didn't die. I felt was brought back in time to the year 2006 were it all started. 

I now look back at the distance of 32 years thinking how long I have traveled, for which these dreams don't let me sleep anymore, realizing that I let my dreams fall apart and breaking all the promises that I made to myself, I now try to hold and glue the pieces together to bring back its shape. 

I decide to apply to bank loan and build my very own dance class with my experience. So here I walk into this bank where I have to start afresh creating my bank account and asking for loan. 

When I entered the bank I spoke to the manager head so as to direct me to apply for loan for my institute. The bank manager informed about me to a lady who was sitting inside the cabin and 

with her permission he asked me to go in.

Hi, mam, May I come in? She turned, looked at me and she directly stood up. I didn't understand why she was standing. she called the managers in and made them to do my work. I sat infront of her for about 3 hours. She handed me a paper and said; "by tomorrow your loan will be sanctioned and and you have just call and see things happening." I didn't understand how can one be so nice. I thanked her and while I was leaving the cabin she called and said;        

"Anu you don't have to share things anymore, you can have everything for yourself and when the day comes I promise I will be there to share mine".

I knew I heard this long before some time. I couldn't recognize her. She was so beautiful, in a gorgeous saree, with bob hair. I was totally mesmerized, I was frozen, I couldn't move an inch.

She was my Radhika a bank CEO now. She took me to her house and introduced me to her children, her husband. And to my surprise everybody knew my name. As she told her story and how much she missed me everyday to everyone. 

I ran to her and vent out all my griefs and hugged her tightly. Her hug meant everything to me. 

After an year, my dance institute stood right in the center of the city. I could see my dreams standing tall. But the girl whom I wanted to adopt and for whom my life began was unfinished. 

I was scared to walk back into my past. But this time both my heart and my brain said go and get her.

I took the morning flight flew back to Kerala. I went to my orphanage and within seconds my papers were put on the table and an agreement was signed with legal documents getting prepared.

I walked in to the orphanage, I saw the whole building was awful, the bathrooms were dirty, the girls were left with ripped clothes, horrible bed spreads, with no delicious food to have. 

I saw that innocent faces standing in line with that same hope to get adopted. I saw me in them. I saw my hopes that were shattered back then.  Thinking which girl would get adopted and the other one would be left thinking she would make her life something huge by herself. 

I never wanted things to happen with other girls which happened with me.

I went back to office torn off the legal adoption papers. I said Mr. Raghava, make a paper for me to sign, to adopt this orphanage.  

I adopted the whole "The home of god's children" 

And so, after renovating the orphanage and giving them everything they wanted we all lived happily ever after. 

Readers, what do you think? Would it had been better if she silently stood waiting for her chance to get adopted? Or did she commit mistake by taking her decisions independently and choosing her life herself? 

To those who think they are giving better life just by adopting is not true. 

" It will be great once if you give them a life by ADOPTION but not a DONATION."

 

Girl orphan's struggle starts right from the time of female infanticide. Try and stop killing girl child.

Stop them who abandon and desert their children. Under Section 317 of IPC it is illegal and can be imprisoned for 12 years nearly. About 60,000 children are abandoned every year in India. Just imagine how many children are left with no parents and are taking decisions by themselves.

Their struggle never ends, in choosing their paths, in making their own living. For standing for themselves, there is struggle everywhere. Adopt a child and give them a life, will make it gold for sure.